Everything You Need To Know About Being A Parent In Three Vignettes
By the end of dinner tonight, both children were sobbing in their respective rooms. The 5-year-old was distraught because we wouldn't allow him to have dessert after he ate too fast and threw up his meal. The 2-year-old was inconsolable that he was being punished after throwing fork (he was overcome by righteous fury because he wanted the dinner back that we took away...because he refused to eat it).
Bedtime snuggles with the 5-year-old often means playing make believe quietly in the dark. Tonight he was cooking for me.
C: Here's some chocolate pie. Would you like it wrapped in silver sparkle paper or pink confetti?
Me: Err, silver sparkle. Definitely.
C: Here you go. Would you like to know what else we have at this restaurant?
C: Fireflies! [pointing to his ceiling, where there is a plethora of glow-in-the-dark stars and planets]
Me: This is a really lovely restaurant.
C: Also? Back scratching! [shoves me over to scratch my back]
Me: This is the best restaurant ever!
C: I know, right?! It's amazing. And here's a bedroom, so you can take a nap.
Me: Well, thank you, because I am tired and it's bedtime. So that's a good idea.
C: Shhh. Just sleep.
Me: [pretends to snore]
C: [leans over and pretends to start putting things in my mouth] We also feed you while you sleep. Eat, eat, Mommy, eat.
After being, err, force fed while unconscious, I gave Charlie his hugs and kisses so I could leave him to sleep.
Me: I love you more than all the stars.
C: I love you more than all the cars.
Me: Oh. Well, then.
C: There are more cars than stars, you know.
Me: ...I kind of don't think so. There are so many stars we can't count them all, and then more than that farther than we can see.
C: Huh. Well, I love you more than all the stars and all the cars. And all the lamps in all the houses.
Me: That's a good amount of love.
C: It's the best amount.